Finding My Inspiration

As I’m sure most writers would say, our inspiration comes from what we know and experience. At times the experience my not be our own but more of what we witness. I’m no different.

My poems, for instance, are loosely based on my life observations and thoughts. A Melody to be Heard came about after several conversations with two very different people that I love. They aren’t connected in any way other than the love I have for them. The talks were about loneliness and the fact that every person, in one way or another, have felt it so deeply that we’ve all wanted to shake it before we knew it became “the longest relationship I’ve ever had”. It’s the frustration feeling of loneliness that I wanted, no, I needed to convey along with the fact that there are several people who feel alone together.

A Night In was about myself. I’ve been on a journey to find love within myself for as early as grade school. Of course I wouldn’t know that back then, however I struggled with fitting in and feeling like I was enough to fill the space I was in. My mother wanted me to be a ballerina (which was a long shot for sure) and I joined with my cousin. We were the only girls of color, although I was an average size child, I was the heaviest out of the bunch of dancers. Eventually my cousin quit, by her mothers choice, and I was left to mingle amongst girls who didn’t have a desire to make friends with me. I did what any child would. I suffered in silence until my mother could no longer afford the lessons almost ten years later. During those early years of dance, I learned that I wasn’t enough to take up that space in the class, or with those girls, or in my body. The lesson was not healthy or had any truth and I am still learning differently everyday.

In my stories, I put a lot of my insecurities as a woman. It isn’t so obvious, however, Tears of Red is about a woman who has a premonition that her unborn child will eventually kill her. No, I don’t think my future child will be my demise. The character actually struggled with pregnancy for years before finally having a viable one. I’ve never been pregnant because my body doesn’t seem to be able to. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) and some woman, like myself with this condition will have to go through a lot of treatment to get pregnant, where as others will find it easier with some assistance with the same diagnosis. It’s hard knowing that my body is built to carry a child but I may possibly never have that experience, thus I put it in a story. It’s my way of dealing I suppose. That’s how “all” writers deal! Just kidding.

Not everything has to be dark and melancholic. In my book (not yet available) The Shadows, I wrote a scene that had a girl fall from the top of a staircase. I don’t know about you, but I absolutely enjoy a good fall, so long as no one gets hurt more than a sore bum. That too came from my own personal experience and watching it happen to strangers. I love it! I’m just waiting for life to spoon feed me some more inspiration, though it’s never made me wait too long.

I have plenty of stories, poems, and books that are waiting for me to write them and hide parts of me within the text. I goal is to express ideas and or share feelings in a way that people, who have never experienced it, can gain some perspective.

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