There is a hole inside of my heart
It hasn’t been there long, six years to be exact
I found out that I am less than the woman I thought myself to be
It’s not about the hair that is always falling out
My more than hour glass, round shape
It’s has nothing to do with my voice or my looks in anyway
It’s because my body betrayed me before birth
I read recently that in the womb I was to have all the eggs that I will ever have
Those eggs will develop and release thus giving me the ability to bare child
This is scientific fact
The scars I bare are not from child birth
They are the scars crated by the heart that gives me life
Yet life I cannot create
My body has betrayed me
I knew I would become a mother, I dreamt about it since I was a child
I would one day learn what it was like to feel my child inside me
Crying when my body ached
Crying when my husband didn’t bring me ice cream
Crying because I was happy
Only
I cry because I won’t experience this
I cry because I can’t create a child with my husband
I cry because the hole in my heart is growing
One day I hope to hear a child call me mommy
For I fear this hole may kill me
These scars aren’t from carrying a baby
They are the scars of my heart crying
Burning lines of spite
Gala Serks 