I Know My Pain by Name

I Know My Pain by Name

Pain is a feeling I’m familiar with

I know it better than I can remember the lyrics to my favorite song

I feel it as closely as I can touch the walls

The walls

The walls are filled with pain

It’s splattered on as thick as five layers of paint

By the last coat, the paint drags along creating imperfections

Much like the tears that drag along my cheeks

~

Pain is so familiar to me that I have taken it as my last name

I know it better than it knows any other

If you listen closely you can hear it in my laughter

My quick wit and banter

~

Once I drew a bath and saw pain reflected in the water

I swirled my hand around in attempts to ripple it’s appearance

Though it never changed

It screams to me from down under

I like to think it was trapped

However I know it only mimicked what was within me

~

I shudder when I think a day will come when it’s gone

I’ve become accustomed to it’s existence

Crippled to allow it to be my crutch

For if pain isn’t there how else could I tell I was living?

~

I needed it and it me

There is a bond forged by our co-dependence

Beautifully etched in history

Left to be written as a lover’s story

Perhaps recited as a poem so that others may understand our crazy

Our stupid

~

Pain isn’t meant to be a constant

That’s what I was told by another who knew it well

The same who gave it to me

Put me under its spell

So what or who should be responsible for putting this pain in my life?

The lone survivor

Trading one feeling for another

The face of anger

~

Thank you for reading. I like to tug hard on the emotional strings with my poetry. Some are great with lighthearted fun writing, but I thrive on “the darker the better” writing.

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