Who Have I Become?

There is something stirring within me

I am lost in the familiar of grief

An uneasiness that leaves me queasy

A worry of the changes I can’t see


Once I stood tall before the world with wonder

My spine held in it strength, my feet routed in my vision

My walk had a confidence, my voice blared “I will be heard”

Unapologetically filling my space, standing proud in my skin


Once I believed that the world would embrace me

Similarly as I wanted to embrace it, with affection

My mind equal to the energy of the atmosphere

My soul entangled with the spirits of my ancestors vibration


Once doused in ridicule

Shredded by an image of what others thought me to be

Mangled by the perception of weakness

Learning that I’m nothing of what I thought of me

Destroyed in the wake of my understanding

Wishing for escape so that I may be free


Twice I’d been told I hadn’t much to offer

That’s when my shoulders began to slump over

I was told to buckle in as the world would have it’s way with me

My knees buckled as I continued to lower

“You’re worthless” was my mantra unless I could benefit someone else

My legs give as I become victim to me own friendly fire, I cower


Twice I prayed to find myself

Unaware that the world had caged me in its labyrinth

Confined to the tortures of my mind

The only way to tame a bird that would otherwise be boundless

Keeping it isolated so that it can’t even hear the silence

Disoriented and trained to fear everything beyond the darkness


Twice I cried for clarity

To be removed from the shackles, life placed me in

Raising my head and turning my heels back into roots

Strengthening my spine in understanding and unsealing my coffin

Refusing to accept the fate that isn’t mine

Reentering the space only my mass belonged in


Three times I chant the mantra that fuels me

Four times I ignore the negative thoughts and feelings

Five times I own who I really am

Remembering there is an end to grieving

As I scoop up my pieces and mend into a stronger version of who I used to be

~ Gala Serks

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