There is something stirring within me
I am lost in the familiar of grief
An uneasiness that leaves me queasy
A worry of the changes I can’t see
~
Once I stood tall before the world with wonder
My spine held in it strength, my feet routed in my vision
My walk had a confidence, my voice blared “I will be heard”
Unapologetically filling my space, standing proud in my skin
~
Once I believed that the world would embrace me
Similarly as I wanted to embrace it, with affection
My mind equal to the energy of the atmosphere
My soul entangled with the spirits of my ancestors vibration
~
Once doused in ridicule
Shredded by an image of what others thought me to be
Mangled by the perception of weakness
Learning that I’m nothing of what I thought of me
Destroyed in the wake of my understanding
Wishing for escape so that I may be free
~
Twice I’d been told I hadn’t much to offer
That’s when my shoulders began to slump over
I was told to buckle in as the world would have it’s way with me
My knees buckled as I continued to lower
“You’re worthless” was my mantra unless I could benefit someone else
My legs give as I become victim to me own friendly fire, I cower
~
Twice I prayed to find myself
Unaware that the world had caged me in its labyrinth
Confined to the tortures of my mind
The only way to tame a bird that would otherwise be boundless
Keeping it isolated so that it can’t even hear the silence
Disoriented and trained to fear everything beyond the darkness
~
Twice I cried for clarity
To be removed from the shackles, life placed me in
Raising my head and turning my heels back into roots
Strengthening my spine in understanding and unsealing my coffin
Refusing to accept the fate that isn’t mine
Reentering the space only my mass belonged in
~
Three times I chant the mantra that fuels me
Four times I ignore the negative thoughts and feelings
Five times I own who I really am
Remembering there is an end to grieving
As I scoop up my pieces and mend into a stronger version of who I used to be
~ Gala Serks
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Gala Serks 